How do you feel when things aren't going Your way?

I am experiencing a lag in my life today that I cannot explain. I feel dead spiritually. Where is His Joy and Life at.

Imagine Christ, sitting on the right hand of God, looking at this world. What do you think He sees?

He is his own body... I am speaking of the church. Is He happy with the body that we serve??? That is the question we have to ask ourselves. Is He happy with the way... He wants His body to be served? Are we in tune with Him and His will?

My fear is that this body, that we served, is going to be judged one day. Am I liable, both as a deacon AND member of this congregation???

Whom is leading us... do I consider this body to be spiritually in tune with God and His will??? Is our session members seeking Him and His leadings accordingly; both personally AND as an elder?

In my efforts to reach out that have not produced any fruit, am I forcing God's will?... am I walking ahead of Him instead of following the path of which He has prepared for me? I cannot down-play what has been placed upon my heart. I tried to start a spirit lead team together to lead the church. As it turned out, the enemy just came in and took that away with his pride. I have begun to try again (I cannot say it is me, but Him whom has sent me), but to no avail at this point is anyone receiving anything or has pursued it. Am I but a clanging symbol... or is it by the guidance of the Holy Spirit???

Perhaps, in the eyes of many, I am only being arrogant and prideful against the opposition. What kind of statement is that??? A house divided will not stand. Will Christ pull our lamp stand from us? Do I continue to stay in this lukewarm body??? Or do I find a church with a 'FAMILY' atmosphere? We are to be a family, and if I must say, we should put it even before our immediate family- its that important. There is no fellowship. There is some division.

So, as I am in this valley of depression... is this the grieving of the Holy Spirit? Or is it just my own selfish ambition to come against the enemy in my views of 'fighting the good fight of faith? Do I continue to fight for Him, or do I just let it go from here. This is good fruit being produced, but what good fruit are be letting bypass our service to Him? Quite frankly, last Sundays service was quite good. A video was shown- not our traditional service. No one comes to Me, unless the Father draws Him. We had a decent size service that day... but is there better? But, only through Him. Only by full dependence on His work. Only by the checking of our spirit by Him. He hears our prayers, but when do we let Him pray through us?